Being Valentine's weekend and all my massage schedule is booked solid with couples massages. If you don't know what a couples massage is it's two massage tables and two therapists in one room so that the couple can be massaged in the same room. Awww...ever so romantic...right? I'm rubbing a away and my client (the lady) lets a huge fart rip. I'm talking this didn't just slip out it was a good 30 seconds of honking. Well doesn't this just startle the shit out of me and I look at the other therapist in the room and we attempt to not laugh. It's bad enough when your client passes gas and your alone with them but now I'm reduced to a Beavis & Butthead mentality and need to giggle but can't because this would disturb the quiet massage environment. Have you ever tried to stifle a laugh? It's hard, you know it's not appropriate but you can't help it so you hold it in and your body shakes. Well, if I shake while rubbing this woman she will know I am laughing at her passing of gas (unexcused and unacknowledged I might add). Okay I'm trying to calm down I close my eyes, must not look at the other therapist as silliness with only break through again. I think I have myself under control, I take a deep breath and whoa....what is that smell? Am I standing in a dumpster on a 90 degree day? Who is eating egg salad sandwiches? Is there a dead animal in here? Gene are you in my massage room? I'm going to die from this smell. I must remain in control and not let the sillies take over again. Ugh...the stench is so bad I pull the collar of my shirt up over my nose & mouth. Whew...I smell good. I showered today and that new body lotion smells yummy, kind reminds me of umbrella drinks on a beach. I think I'm doing okay until I make eye contact with the other therapist while in my safe face cocoon. Oh, no here we go again with the withholding of laughter. I can no longer look at the other side of the room at the other therapist or I will be unable to continue. Now it's time for my client to roll over I'm sure to wave the blankets so she can enjoy her own stink for a bit too. I wonder what her boyfriend thinks of her outburst. I bet it was ever so romantic that he can't wait to take her home and have his way with her. Happy Valentine's Day.
