Monday, November 30, 2009

Cheryl & Lisa Celebrate Yom Kippur

Lisa & I are taking Friday off from work and it seems it's the Jewish holiday, Yom Kippur. Since neither one of us is Jewish I had to do a little research to see if we would want to celebrate this holiday or just take the day off, get my car repaired and bask in the warm glow of the sun. This is what I've discovered. If you're going to be offended turn back now because I don't want to hear it. I have added in my comments in italics.

Yom Kippur is probably the most important holiday of the Jewish year. Many Jews who do not observe any other Jewish custom will refrain from work,(we will refrain from work as well) fast and/or attend synagogue services on this day.(fasting is out of the question, it will make me cranky) Yom Kippur occurs on the 10th day of Tishri. The holiday is instituted at Leviticus 23:26 et seq.

The name "Yom Kippur" means "Day of Atonement," and that pretty much explains what the holiday is. It is a day set aside to "afflict the soul," to atone for the sins of the past year.(I'm sure I have a few of those) In Days of Awe, I mentioned the "books" in which G-d inscribes all of our names.(Is this like Santa's list of naughty & nice children?) On Yom Kippur, the judgment entered in these books is sealed. This day is, essentially, your last appeal, your last chance to change the judgment, to demonstrate your repentance and make amends. (I vow to use nice manners and cut my swearing by 50% that day)

As I noted in Days of Awe, Yom Kippur atones only for sins between man and G-d, not for sins against another person. To atone for sins against another person, you must first seek reconciliation with that person, righting the wrongs you committed against them if possible. That must all be done before Yom Kippur. I apologize for nothing, tough if they don't like it!

Yom Kippur is a complete Sabbath; no work can be performed on that day. It is well-known that you are supposed to refrain from eating and drinking (even water) on Yom Kippur (I'm sure we can change these rules to suit our needs. I want a blueberry beer from Beerworks). It is a complete, 25-hour fast beginning before sunset on the evening before Yom Kippur and ending after nightfall on the day of Yom Kippur. The Talmud also specifies additional restrictions that are less well-known: washing and bathing, anointing one's body (with cosmetics, deodorants, etc.), wearing leather shoes. Sorry, I plan on showering, wearing deodorant and maybe strappy sandals, weather permitting. (Orthodox Jews routinely wear canvas sneakers under their dress clothes on Yom Kippur), and engaging in sexual relations are all prohibited on Yom Kippur. I would like to have sex, but if I don't I will be a good Jewish woman...right?

As always, any of these restrictions can be lifted where a threat to life or health is involved. This rule applies to us, fasting & not drinking will make us cranky which is a serious threat to others around us. In fact, children under the age of nine and women in childbirth (from the time labor begins until three days after birth) are not permitted to fast, even if they want to. What about ovulation? I might be ovulating. Older children and women from the third to the seventh day after childbirth are permitted to fast, but are permitted to break the fast if they feel the need to do so. People with other illnesses should consult a physician and a rabbi for advice. (What about mental illness?)

Most of the holiday is spent in the synagogue, in prayer. In Orthodox synagogues, services begin early in the morning (8 or 9 AM) We will probably be at Gene's gas station around 9:00, we'll pray there or maybe go pee.and continue until about 3 PM. People then usually go home for an afternoon nap and return around 5 or 6 PM for the afternoon and evening services, I plan to nap before continuing with my "services" at the Brewery later that evening. which continue until nightfall. The services end at nightfall, with the blowing (blowing of what? I thought sex was prohibited. Apparently oral is okay) of the tekiah gedolah, a long blast on the shofar. (is this a reference for a bong) See Rosh Hashanah for more about the shofar and its characteristic blasts.

It is customary to wear white on the holiday, (white is unflattering, I'll take the liberty of substituting white for my customary drinking costume, jeans & a black shirt) which symbolizes purity and calls to mind the promise that our sins shall be made as white as snow (Is. 1:18). Some people wear a kittel, the white robe in which the dead are buried. I will wear my robe Saturday morning after I shower.

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